Another great example this week of how focusing on the growth versus the gap can keep things going in the desired direction.
Yesterday one of our members was talking about her efforts to lose weight. After weeks of steadily losing, she’s at a frustrating “plateau” and despite “still working really hard”, the scale isn’t currently moving. Normal, as these things go, but frustrating nonetheless and especially when you think you’re doing all the right things.
I’ve known her for close to ten years. She’s a ton of fun and makes us all laugh. She is also wide awake to her own tendencies – and in this case the one showing up is her “all or nothing” thinking. She said this was the hardest part right now; the voice in her head saying if the scale isn’t moving, what’s the point? Why bother?
I suggested she answer her own question.
I told her a story about another member we both know who years ago worked really hard to lose some weight and was successful. I had asked her to make a list of all the things that had happened over the months as a result of her efforts. She did, and the simple exercise reshaped her experience.
Why bother? What’s the point? These are questions born of frustration. They can generate something in us that pretends to not care. This can lead to actions that we may later regret.
So when I asked her to answer that voice in her head;
“I feel great. I have tons of energy. My knees don’t hurt anymore. I feel lighter…” were a few of her answers. I suggested, as I had to our mutual friend years ago, to take a few minutes and write out her response. Tell the story about how different her life was right now, already, as a result of her efforts. (The act of writing helps embed the experience and create associated positive emotions. Thinking is good, writing is even better.)
Science tells us it’s more than likely that the number on the scale will start going down again. Fortunately, she doesn’t have to wait for that to happen to feel good. For any of us who work hard to change ourselves somehow, every day of our efforts brings us something worth acknowledging. That’s the point, and why we bother.
(P.S. Rock on HB. Great stuff already and more to come. And thanks again, PT.)